Controlling Your Reactions with Pearl Habits

For more great tips and tricks on habits check out the “Power of Habits Workshop” a part of the Meet the Needs Workshop Series! Check it out HERE

Are you worn down or completely drained by student behavior in your classroom every week? Shoot, every day? 

Or maybe you avoid having tough conversations or holding boundaries because of how it triggers your stress response?

Little habits, like taking a sip of water before responding to a negative behavior or using certain inner dialogue scripts before walking into a tough conversation can completely rewire your brain’s reaction to challenging events inside and outside the classroom. 

These little habits are called “Pearl Habits” - small, purposeful actions that become automatic and help you react with your thinking brain and not your feeling brain.

These small changes build on one another, bringing more calm, less chaos, and fewer moments of regret over our actions.

It’s also a great way to become more optimistic about life in general—which, who doesn’t want that?

Why Pearl Habits?

As teachers, we all know the reality: we can’t control students' behavior, just like we can’t control the behavior of our neighbors, friends, or even our own children. 

But, this doesn’t mean all hope is lost. Because we can influence students’ behavior, by controlling how we respond, how frustrated we feel, and how clear-headed we stay when reacting. 

What many people don’t realize is that your immediate response to negative situations is already a habit. When you use this method, you’re not starting from scratch—you’re actually reshaping the habits you already have.

By changing our habitual responses, we save mental and emotional energy, avoid unnecessary stress and create a calm mindset that enables productive problem-solving—without falling into negative thought spirals, rumination, or overwhelm.

Pearl Habits, created by BJ Fogg’s, are designed to help us control our reactions and stay positive when we face challenges, overwhelm, and times of chronic stress. 

The idea is to build small, simple behaviors that, over time, transform how our brain responds to situations that typically trigger frustration, anger, or irritation.

Who Needs Pearl Habits?

Pearl Habits can benefit everyone, but they’re especially helpful for teachers who struggle to control their emotions and behaviors in response to challenging student behaviors or negative interactions with staff/parents or admin.

They are especially helpful for teachers on the spectrum or who have ADHD and experience emotional flooding.

Pearl Habits are for any teacher who:

• Wants to reduce stress when responding to student behavior
• Finds it hard to detach from student actions, often taking them personally
• Feels overstimulated, overwhelmed, or drained by difficult behaviors in the classroom

If this sounds like you, keep reading 👇

The Benefits of Pearl Habits

When you start using Pearl Habits, you’ll notice some shifts right away. First, you’ll find it easier to avoid slipping into negative thinking. Second, you won’t feel as angry when a behavior occurs. Instead, you might start thinking, “Oh sweet! I get to say something positive about myself,” or, “Awesome, I get to have an M&M!”

This shift from a negative to a positive experience has even bigger implications for your overall joy and happiness. As this mental practice becomes part of your natural thinking patterns, you’ll see it influence interactions outside the classroom, raising your overall optimism and lowering stress levels. 

Pearl Habits also boost compassion and empathy, giving you a surge of “feel-good” chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin, which reduce stress even further. It’s kind of a nice calm cycle of feel-goodness and positive mental energy.

What Are Pearl Habits?

Pearl Habits are small, intentional actions you take in response to challenging situations, like a student’s disruptive behavior. Think of it as “rewiring” your brain by pairing positive actions with triggers that would normally cause stress. Practicing these small habits consistently can lead to big changes in how you respond to difficult moments.

Key Terms You Should Know:

• Tiny Habit: A small, manageable action you can easily repeat.
• Anchor Moment: A routine or situation that consistently happens, serving as a “trigger” for your new habit.
• Celebration: A small action to create a positive feeling and reinforce your new habit.
• Tiny Habit Recipe: A formula for implementing the habit, typically framed as, “After (anchor), I will (tiny behavior).”

Create Your Pearl Habit

Let’s walk through how to create a Pearl Habit for responding to challenging behaviors.

1. Identify Frustrating Behaviors: Write down behaviors that consistently frustrate you.
2. Prioritize Triggers: Choose one that’s particularly frustrating or frequent—this will be what’s called your “anchor moment.”
3. Create a Tiny Response: Find a simple, positive action you can do right after encountering this anchor moment. Examples: take a sip of water, take a deep breath, or mentally remind yourself, “I am calm.”
4. Celebrate: Pick a small celebration that brings you joy or pride. This could be a mental “Yes! Or I’m awesome!” a tally mark to show that you did it, or an m&m. 

Examples of Pearl Habits in the Classroom

Here are a few practical examples to illustrate how this works in real life:

• Example 1: Routine Habit for Calm
• Anchor Moment: A student gets up and moves toward you to ask a question.
• Tiny Behavior: Take a deep breath and smile.
• Celebration: Think, “I am kind and patient.”
• Example 2: Response to Inappropriate Comment
• Anchor Moment: A student makes an inappropriate comment.
• Tiny Behavior: Take a sip of water to pause and ground yourself.
• Celebration: Mentally remind yourself, “I am calm, and I’m in control” and mark a tally on a post it.

These tiny habits reinforce joy and help rewire your brain to be more optimistic, keeping you from slipping into a stress response caused by frustration or annoyance.

Do you want even more habits and tips? Check out the Power of Habits Workshop, a part of the Meet the Needs Workshop Series! Check it out HERE